I CAN'T BELIEVE I’m getting married tomorrow. I gazed at myself in the mirror and did a final turn. The dress moved smoothly around my legs and I ran my hands down the tapered waist.
Four years ago I was knocked up with a fatherless child with no hope of ever feeling the burn in my veins caused by my one and only. I let him go, but he came back to me—to us—just like the fairy tales taught us.
“Shelly, have you seen my—”
I swirled around and pressed my back against the full-length mirror, wishing I could hide behind it even though it was too late.
“Keenan!” I screeched, bringing his lusting to a halt. “I thought you left! You’re not supposed to see me!”
“First of all,” he answered sternly while entering our bedroom fully and closing the door, “lower your voice. Our daughter is sleeping.”
“Keenan.” I was pouting now and hiding as much of me as I could with my hands.
“You look beautiful.”
“This is bad luck,” I scolded even though there were butterflies in my stomach. It would be hard to put my foot down and keep it there if I were a puddle of lust at his feet.
“Impossible. We can’t have any more bad luck than we’ve already had. I’m afraid we’re all out.”
No, I didn’t believe that. He had to go.
“You have to go,” I demanded out loud. I was determined to keep my foot—or feet—planted and to not be swept up. He took a predatory step forward at the same time his eyes glazed over.
“I don’t want to go.”
“This is going to happen, isn’t it?” I looked up to see his eyes when he came to stand in front of me. I could practically feel the heat emanating from his body.
“I’m afraid so.” He fingered the bodice and spun me around until by back was facing him. I could feel the buttons slide through the loops as he fingered them open one by one. When he was finished with the buttons, he bunched the heavy material and carefully lifted it over my head.
“Fuck,” he drew out with a breath. I knew exactly what had newly caught his attention. The garter set I’d planned to wear tomorrow was now adorned and burning against by skin under his gaze. “I want you just like this.”
“It will ruin—”
“I don’t care.” He was no longer listening as he shed his hoodie and shirt and pushed his jeans down his legs. When he was fully naked, he pushed my back against the wall next to the mirror and trapped me with his own.
“You’re going to be mine tomorrow,” he whispered. He made a noise that sounded painful as he bit my bottom lip.
“I’m already yours.”
“Yes, but you won’t be able to run from me.”
“Boy, you really know how to sell marriage,” I answered sarcastically.
“I’m serious. Tell me you and Ken will always be mine.”
His voice had deepened, and his eyes held insecurity and fear I thought had long gone since he had asked Ken and me to marry him. I guess I should have known better. He’s had all his life to feel unwanted so I knew I had my work cut out for me. Knowing didn’t make it easier to witness.
“We’re yours. Always.”
He searched my eyes for what seemed like an eternity before giving me what I needed. The taste of his lips mingling with mine was an aphrodisiac. I spread my hands down his hot back until they rested against his ass. Tightening my grip, I pulled him closer, loving the feel of his hot skin and flexing muscles. He had never been overly muscular. It was enough to make me feel safe and hot all at once.
I felt his lips trail my neck and down to my breast as he lifted me to wrap my legs around his waist. “Condom,” I gasped.
My birth control pills were missing again and I constantly had to remind him to wear a condom the last time.
He shook his head. The move was so faint I almost missed it. “I want more.”
I froze, wondering what he meant, but the feeling of him entering me, inch by slow inch took over any second thoughts, and I gripped him tighter.
He took me against the wall of our bedroom as if he had a point to prove or a goal. I felt used by him for a purpose I wasn’t privy to, and I loved every moment of it.
It was the nips here and there, threatening to break my skin.
The bruising holds of his hands.
My back hitting the wall as his hips forced me there.
It all felt so wrong, but I powerless to stop wanting it.
“Fuck, Shelly.” His voice was deep and throaty as he growled my name almost accusingly. “Give it to me. I want you to come on my cock. The way your hot pussy squeezes me—Fuck!”
I shattered into a million pieces, literally taking away his breath as I did. He stilled momentarily, and I knew the feel of me pulsing around him entrapped him.
The next thing I knew, I was dropped to my feet and forced around. His hand was hard on my back forcing me low. I gripped my ankles just as he ordered me to whenever he took me this way. The only thing keeping me from toppling over from the force of his pounding was his hard grip on my hip.
“I want you to want this, too. You have to.”
I was stuck piecing together yet another hidden meaning. My silence must have stretched too long because he forced himself deeper inside me causing me to cry out.
“I want it,” I cried again. And I did.
Whatever it was.
He was powerful in this way—to make me want without understanding the consequences of our need. I mentally prepared myself to be used and fucked harder than ever, but when he came inside me followed by a loud, guttural sound I’d never heard from him before, I was left feeling more confused than satisfied as I usually did when he came.
“What was that?” I wouldn’t give him time to catch his breath so he could think of an excuse.
“I told you. I want more,” he answered while pulling on his jeans. I was surprised by the frigidness of his spine and the ice in his voice.
“More? You keep saying that. What is more?” I reached for his shirt and yanked it over my head. My husband-to-be had just fucked me hard against the wall, and I now felt as if I weren’t even a part of it.
“I want what I missed four years ago. I want a baby, Shelly.”
“Is this why my birth control pills are missing again?”
He hung his head, and I knew the answer before he spoke. “Yes. I didn’t take them the first time, but when you mentioned how easy it would be to get pregnant if you missed the pill…” He shrugged and I literally felt my blood boil.
“And so you think you were just going to make one without including me in this decision?”
“You’re going to be my wife, and I’m yours forever. Why does it need to be a decision?”
“Because babies are a lot of work, Keenan! We weren’t ready for one four years ago, and we aren’t ready for another now. You’ve been in your daughter’s life for six months. Try getting to know her first.”
His eyes turned even colder if it were possible. “I know my daughter.”
“I didn't mean—” I stopped to think about how not to turn this into a bigger nightmare. “I just meant you have a lot of time to make up for. She hasn’t had you in her life for four years. Let’s not take that time away from her again by adding a baby to the mix. She needs her father.”
I expected him to argue, demand, or persuade me in some unknown way he always had to make me fall for his shit but, he didn't. His jaw tightened and he just… walked away.